


Be With You

by jjjeeessssss



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A lot of them - Freeform, Angst, Anxious Azumane Asahi, Anxious Kageyama Tobio, Anxious Sawamura Daichi, Anxious Yamaguchi Tadashi, Bisexual Yamaguchi Tadashi, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Crying, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I think (2), Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, Lots of it, M/M, all of them - Freeform, i think, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26914105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjjeeessssss/pseuds/jjjeeessssss
Summary: In each of these boys’ relationships, both partners are in different spaces regarding who to come out to.Asahi doesn’t want to tell anybody, but Nishinoya does.Hinata wants to tell everybody, but Kageyama doesn’t.Yamaguchi wants to tell his parents and Tsukishima is trying to help him.Sugawara wants to start telling more people, but Daichi is having a hard time accepting who he is.**this is a very weak summary, I’m sorry this one is hard to explain.**there are very slight spoilers for season two in the Kageyama and Hinata chapter; it’s nothing too major, but just in case someone wants to know**and one more thing: none of the chapters are heavily connected; you can read one chapter without another or read them out of order
Relationships: Azumane Asahi & Nishinoya Yuu, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi & Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 94





	1. Asahi & Nishinoya

These two weren’t a completely surprising couple. Well to those who knew about them, which was nobody. So, technically, they weren’t a surprising couple.

They’d been close since they met really, mainly from working off of each other in volleyball. They always had a special bond, and the team could clearly see this, so when they got into their argument, it was terrifying for everybody.

Volleyball had brought them together in high school, but then it drew them apart. But then back together. It felt as though some sort of force had done that.  _ Something _ led them to each other and wanted them to stay by each other’s sides, even through hard times. Asahi thought it was fate or some sort of figure looking down on them, but Nishinoya just said it was volleyball. Because, well…that’s how they met, and it had been a part of the important parts of their relationship.

They would go to each other’s houses often, starting after they had made up from their argument in the prior school year. It was awkward.  _ Very _ awkward. Even Nishinoya had trouble carrying the conversation because he was just so nervous that something would go wrong again. Asahi tried to calm both of their nerves, but felt as though he was making things worse. Overtime, things had gotten easier, but it felt as though it was taking so long. When Asahi went to his other upperclassmen for help, Daichi told him that all they needed was time. It didn’t make him feel much better.

“He probably can’t stand me,” Asahi sighed. “I was terrible to him…”

“Don’t say that!”, Sugawara argued. “Nishinoya loves hanging around you! He even refused to play volleyball in the beginning of the year!”

Asahi seemed to be frantic as he spoke, like he just wanted to get everything out because it had been so pent up inside of him. “But I failed the team and he’s just…not mad at me?  _ Why _ ? Why does he think I’m so special after everything? I wasn’t a good teammate, I wasn’t even a good friend! I wouldn't listen to him and I made him mad.”

“Friends fight all the time,” Daichi reassured. “And he just…I don’t know, he loves to be around you. You motivate him to keep going. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you look up to him, too.”

Asahi looked slightly confused. “But he’s shorter than me.”

Daichi sighed. “No! You admire him like he admires you!”

Asahi felt dumb. There was something about how Sugawara said  _ loves _ rather than  _ likes _ when talking about how Nishinoya felt that stuck with him. And the same with Daichi…he said  _ loves _ instead of  _ likes _ . Friends  _ like _ each other. Best friends liked each other too, but sometimes they loved each other…but in a platonic way. And Asahi was not thinking platonically about Nishinoya lately, and he was too afraid to voice it.

After that day, he went home and didn’t touch his phone, too scared to answer any of Nishinoya’s incoming texts. And there were a lot of them. All Asahi could think about was the word love. He didn’t know what Daichi and Sugawara had meant by it. And he was having trouble figuring out why they used  _ that _ word.

The next day he got ripped apart. Nishinoya wouldn’t leave him alone about how he didn’t answer his messages. “Do you know how much my fingers hurt from typing so much? A lot! What happened? Were you okay last night? Did your parents take your phone for the night? What happened, Asahi?”

Asahi looked nervous. “I…I don’t know, I didn’t see your messages…?”

They both knew it was a lie. Nishinoya looked a bit sad. “If you didn’t want to talk, you could have just said so.”

“No!” He looked even more frightened. “I  _ did _ want to talk to you!”

Nishinoya blinked a few times. “Then…why didn’t you?”

Asahi didn’t know what to say. He couldn't say, “I was wondering what the word love meant all night.” That was too weird. He opened his mouth before he had any idea of what to say.

Nishinoya wasn’t impatient, he was just curious (which was probably coming off as impatience). But he knew that no matter what he looked like on the outside, he was not going to rush Asahi, who was visibly distressed.

“I was…”

“You don’t have to make up an excuse, I’m over it. Just text me later.”

Asahi nodded and then they had to get to practice. When they went home at the end of the day, Asahi was staring down at his phone the entire way home. He was trying to figure out how to ask Nishinoya what he was thinking, but every time he typed out his question it looked dumb. He kept trying to think of better ways to ask, but nothing came to him.

He typed out another variant, but looked away from his phone when he made it to the front door. When he got to his bedroom after seeing that nobody was home, he started deleting the text while throwing his bag on his bed.

noya :)

_ do you love me _

When he hit the send button by accident, he didn’t believe it at first. He stared down at the screen with huge eyes. “Oh, no.” It was all he could say. And then he was getting a response.

_???? _

_ What? _

_ Well you ARE my best friend _

_ Besides from Ryuu _

_ But yea i love you _

Why did he answer so fast? And how did he say that so easily? Did he even  _ think _ about his answer? Asahi felt so dizzy. He fell onto his bed, starting at his phone in terror. How could he cover something like this up? Then there were more messages coming in.

_ Wait _

_ Did you mean something else _

_ Asahi??? _

_ ANSWER ME I AM LOST _

_ Ok I’m coming over _

_ see you soon ;) _

No, no, no! He couldn’t move his fingers to type out a response. He was too frozen with shock to do anything. He didn’t look away from his phone for so long and prayed that Nishinoya would send another message, saying that he was joking and he would stay home. He knew this wouldn't happen, though. It was Nishinoya Yuu.

Nishinoya hadn’t even gotten home when Asahi texted him. He just got the message and was incredibly confused. After reading it, he stopped to get a better look at his screen, thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him. 

ASAHIIIIIII

_ do you love me _

Of course he loved Asahi, they were great friends, and he couldn’t imagine where he would be without him. So he answered the message quickly.

He’d be lying if he said he felt completely friendly towards Asahi, though. There was something more (or at least it felt that way). And then it hit him. Maybe that’s what the text was about. He knew that Asahi was usually anxious and never asked questions like this, but maybe something changed in him today.

After sending a few more messages, he wasn’t getting any sort of answer. He couldn’t stand to let this opportunity pass, he  _ had _ to see Asahi. Right now. While this was happening. And he wanted to talk about it in person anyway because it was something more than a friendly message, Noya wanted to talk about this face-to-face, not while hiding behind a screen.

He turned around quickly and began picking up his pace. He tried not to go into a run, but he did anyway, too eager to see Asahi.

He knocked on the door hard. When nobody answered, he texted Asahi.

_ I’m here _

Asahi had been pacing since Noya said he was coming over. His phone was discarded on his bed so he couldn’t see it. He could not  _ believe _ this was happening. He gulped and slowly looked at his phone when it went off again. There was no way Nishinoya could have been there already. He groaned nervously upon reading the new message. He  _ really _ didn’t want to answer the door, but he couldn’t leave the other hanging. There was no hiding either because Nishinoya  _ knew _ he was home.

Asahi forced himself to go to the door. When he opened it, Noya was staring down at his phone, looking at his messages, constantly refreshing them to see if there was anything new. His brows were knitted together in concentration and he only looked up when Asahi nervously cleared his throat.

He gave Nishinoya room to walk inside. “Come in…” His heart was racing. He didn’t want to talk anymore because he knew something dumb would come out of his mouth.

Nishinoya pressed his lips into a thin line and walked inside, watching Asahi as he shut the door. “What did you mean in your text?”, he asked quickly.

Asahi locked the door and didn’t want to turn back around. “I, um…I didn’t mean to say, um…”

“Well what did you mean? Because I’m confused.”

Asahi gulped hard and turned around slowly, leaning his back against the door. “I…Daichi and Sugawara said that you love to be around me, and I thought that…” His voice trailed off.

“What?”

“I can’t say it! It’s too embarrassing!”

“But we’re best friends so it shouldn’t be!” Saying best friends didn’t feel right. It was like there could have been a much better word to describe how much they really cared for each other. “Now just tell me what happened with the text because I’m still confused!”

“They said you loved being with me, and I just…” He tried to fight the blush on his cheeks from brightening. “I don’t know, I thought it was weird that they said love instead of like because usually…” He looked up slowly and saw the lack of comprehension on Noya’s face. “I don’t know, friends usually don’t say that they love each other…”

“But we’re not friends.”

Asahi’s eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed. “What? I thought we were!”

“No! We are! We  _ are _ friends, but we’re  _ really good  _ friends!” This next part was risky to say. “It feels like if I call you a friend, it’s not right.” He didn’t think before continuing with, “Because I want to be more than–“ He stopped himself, taking a sharp inhale through his nose. “Um, I–“

“You do?” Asahi sounded hopeful.

Nishinoya gulped, flustered. His mouth was opened, but he couldn’t think of what to say.

They two just stood and stared at each other. Asahi was looking helpless and Nishinoya unsure. They didn’t break eye contact until Asahi reached out for the other’s hand and held it loosely in his, almost as it’d he was scared that he would crush it.

Noya looked down in confusion, but then relief washed across his face. He brought his eyes back up to Asahi, but all the latter did was stare down at their hands. Nishinoya moved forward and fumbled slightly as he tried to get his lips to Asahi’s. Asahi fell against the door clumsily when they connected. Their first kiss was not ideal and was uncoordinated, which was strange to Asahi, considering Nishinoya was the opposite on the court in matches. And although Asahi had usually been so strong, he was just frozen in place.

“But why didn’t you answer my texts the night before? I’m still kind of lost with that whole situation.” He paused and looked at the ground slightly. “Not to be  _ that _ person.”

Asahi looked down at Nishinoya as they walked down the street, becoming flustered as he spoke. “I don’t know, I was trying to think of what love in that context meant. Like, when Suga and Daichi were talking to me. Remember when I mentioned it?”

Nishinoya laughed.

“Hey, I was confused!”

Nishinoya looked down at the ground. “I wouldn't have found it weird or anything, it’s an interesting question. Honest.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Okay, I don’t.”

Asahi’s eyebrows furrowed, but upon seeing Nishinoya’s big smile, he couldn’t help but laugh at himself. “Yeah, okay, I guess it was kinda dumb.”

“It wasn’t. But you should have just asked me about it sooner.”

Asahi shrugged. “Well…I was nervous I would say something dumb.”

“You always get so scared when asking things.” He looked down at his boyfriend’s hand and reached for it after saying, “But I’m happy to tell you when you sound irrational.” Their fingertips touched, but then Asahi’s hand was holding on the strap of his bag. His expression went from happy and anxious to just anxious. Nishinoya looked around at the street and noticed it was busier than it had been a few minutes ago. He gulped and elbowed the other. “We’re almost at your house, wanna go there?”

Asahi nodded, quiet. His hand was trembling on his bag and his fingers tightened around it, hoping that Nishinoya knew the reason he pulled away wasn’t personal. Well…in a way it  _ was _ personal. It had to do with his boyfriend and their sexualities. And the fact that nobody–not even the volleyball team, the people that they felt closest to–knew, was not easy to deal with.

Asahi felt as though he was always walking on eggshells, even before he knew he was gay, and one slip up could ruin everything. And depending on the slip up, it could hurt both him and Nishinoya. And that was the last person he wanted to hurt. And if that meant keeping his relationship with Noya a secret, then that’s what had to happen. If somebody from school saw them walking together holding hands…it was just way too risky. And whoever saw it could spread it, and he didn’t want anybody he cared about finding out through outside sources. He wanted it to come from him, but when he was ready.

Nishinoya felt similarly, but never voiced it much. He wasn’t good with handling anxiety, he was always used to being confident. And when he found out that he was gay, he wanted nothing more than to go around telling people about it because he just wanted to embrace every aspect of himself. Why hide something when you can learn to love it? He didn’t need other people to accept him because they weren’t him.

But after telling his parents, there was obviously some sort of tension because things were just…different. The differences in conversations were the first thing Nishinoya had realized. They didn’t have the same lightheartedness as they used to. And he felt like everything he was saying wasn’t important.

Nishinoya knew that he hadn’t done anything wrong because…well, he didn’t! Instead of lying and making himself unhappy, he told his parents what was going on with him. But Nishinoya didn’t care  _ that _ much because he still had school. School was a place where he could focus his energy on his team (which was like another family to him), volleyball and his best friend, who was now his boyfriend. He wanted to share it with everyone! He wanted people to know that they were in love. But he couldn’t do that unless Asahi was comfortable, which he usually wasn’t due to anxiety.

When they were in front of Asahi’s home, Asahi fumbled with the door, his hands still shaking. He nervously asked Nishinoya what he wanted to do and they awkwardly agreed on going to Asahi’s room. They made their way through the house, Nishinoya trailing behind Asahi with a bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

He knew that Asahi just needed time with sharing his secret, and he was okay with that! Everybody was different regarding this kind of thing. He just had trouble remembering it all of the time…

Asahi shut the door behind them gently. They dropped their bags in a corner of the room and Nishinoya sat on the bed carefully. Both boys opened their mouths at the same time, talking in unison. “I’m sorry for before.” Asahi took a step back and Nishinoya leaned back on his hands.

“Why are  _ you _ sorry?”, Nishinoya asked. “I was the one to overstep, remember?”

Asahi shrugged, struggling to make eye contact as he said, “I know that you want to be…public with…us…” He gulped hard. “And I’m sorry that I’m not…you know, okay with that.”

“Well, don’t be sorry because it was my fault.” Nishinoya stood. “You shouldn’t apologize for not being ready to be out because I know that you’re not comfortable yet. And I’m not mad about it either.” He kicked his foot out slightly. “I should have asked and I didn’t…so I’m sorry.”

“You should–“ He cut himself off and Nishinoya looked up at him, his foot coming to a stop. “Nevermind.”

“No, come on.” Noya took a few steps forward. “What is it?”

“You shouldn’t have to ask.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“But you shouldn’t!” Asahi could feel himself getting more emotional, which he didn’t. He wanted to calmly talk to Nishinoya about this.

Nishinoya blinked a few times. “You don’t have to apologize for it.” He shrugged. “I just…I want to be able to tell others about us and live freely about it. But none of that will feel as good if you’re not happy! We need to come to agreements about that stuff.”

“I know that.” He looked upset, but it was with himself. “I want to be as confident as you so we can just be a normal couple!”

Nishinoya  _ hated  _ that word. “Normal?”

“That was a bad word to use, I–“

“There’s no such thing as a normal couple, Asahi!”

“That’s not what it feels like! We can’t even go down the street and hold hands without somebody giving us a weird look!”

Nishinoya was at a loss. How was he supposed to comfort Asahi without slipping into the whole “if you come out I’ll be at your side even though nobody will abandon you” conversation? They both hated it, whether they were giving it or receiving it because it never made them feel any better. All he could do was stare at Asahi explained himself.

Asahi looked to the side. “I want to hold your hand in public, I do… _ so  _ badly.” He focused his stare on the wall. “I can’t risk people knowing, though. I don’t know what my parents would even do if they knew…or what the team would think.” There was no response so he bunched up his lips and finished with, “It’s dumb, I know.”

There was silence and Asahi didn’t look away from the wall. He didn’t want to look at Nishinoya after saying all of that, it was so embarrassing. Nishinoya was able to tell everyone who he was without hesitation or shame, yet Asahi was the complete opposite.

He had only looked back over to Nishinoya when there was a sniff and a hitch in breath. His head whipped back over quickly and he saw Noya furiously wiping at his eyes and nose. Asahi panicked and looked back and forth in the room. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to help? Whenever either of them said, “don’t cry” to the other, it usually led to more crying.

He gulped hard and tried not to cry himself. He could of only think of one thing to do, which was possibly a dumb idea, but it was _ something _ . And they could both agree that it was better than telling him not to cry. Asahi stepped closer to Nishinoya, who was still silently crying, and grabbed one of his hands, forcing their palms together. He put his other hand on top, sandwiching Nishinoya’s hand in between.

Nishinoya’s tears began to slow at the contact and he looked up, barely able to see the other through his now blurred vision. “W-What are you doing?”

This started because Nishinoya wanted to hold his hand. Maybe that would calm him down. “I know that it’s not in public, but…it’s nice that not many people know…we’re in our own little bubble.” He attempted a smile, but it fell when he saw Noya’s already distraught face scrunch up in pain. Asahi’s voice was gentler. “I want nothing more than to tell everybody about us. I want to…I just want to hug you and hold your hand in public, and show you that I care because I do.”

Nishinoya gulped and dug his nails into Asahi’s palm unconsciously. “I know you do.” His voice was so quiet that it was almost scary. He went to take his hand out of Asahi’s hands, but Asahi held onto it tighter. They kept their eyes locked on each other.

“Just hold on, okay?” It was almost a whisper. “Please don’t let go. I’m trying to get there.”

“I know you are.”

“People are judgemental.”

Nishinoya grinned through his tears and put his other hand on top of their pile. “Then let’s go to Sweden,” he mumbled.

“Sweden? Where even is that?”

“That European country. It’s by Finland.” Asahi blinked, but Nishinoya continued. “It’s one of the best places for the LGBT Community so let’s go there. We can stay up all night playing volleyball in a giant field and then have snowball fights. I hear they get a lot of snow over there.” He looked at their hands, his smile turning into a pout. “Nobody over there would care if we’re gay.”

Asahi stared dumbly. Had he ever referred to himself as gay? Nishinoya had here and there, but it was for himself. And he also seemed to understand sexuality so easily, but Asahi was still super confused. It was strange to know that he was gay after referring to himself as straight for so long.

“I just want to be able to enjoy my life with you.”

Asahi leaned in and gave Nishinoya a soft kiss on his forehead. “Me too.”

~

During practice, the boys tried to give themselves a good enough distance where they still come off as friends, but nothing more. They usually did this, and the gym never seemed to notice anything different, especially with Nishinoya going from person to person during practice and Asahi staying relatively close to Sugawara and Daichi. And sometimes after practice had ended, the team would meet outside after cleaning up the gym to chat quickly then go home.

Nishinoya and Asahi were standing across from each other while Hinata went on about how amazing some of Yamaguchi’s serves were. After he finished talking, he sighed happily and Daichi said, “Well, it’s late enough. I think we should all go home and rest.”

Sugawara nodded to Hinata. “He seems like he doesn’t need it.”

“Well I do.”

Asahi and Nishinoya looked at each other. “Are you walking with me?”, Nishinoya asked.

Asahi nodded, holding the strap of his bag tightly. He said a quick goodnight to the team, and so did Nishinoya, and the two began to walk down the street, away from the circle. Nishinoya began talking about how well practice went and the hand closest to Asahi was at his side as he gestured with the other.

Asahi remembered yesterday in the street. They were both so upset, and for similar reasons…maybe he could start trying to do something about it. He wanted to.

Slowly, Asahi forced his hand away from his bag and dropped it to his side. He reached out his fingers and grazed Nishinoya’s hand. Nishinoya felt his fingers twitch slightly, and his words slowed a bit.

Asahi could feel the others’ stares on the back of his head and gulped. But he knew that this had nothing to do with them so he swallowed his pride and took Noya’s hand quickly, holding onto it nervously. Nishinoya cut himself off mid-sentence, surprised at the sudden touch. His smile widened and he moved in closer to Asahi to lean his head on the upperclassman’s arm as they continued down the street.

The team looked at each other and only Tsukishima spoke. “Are you seriously surprised by that?” When the team nodded and mumbled their confirmations, he began walking in the direction of his own house, Yamaguchi going with him after saying quick goodbyes.

Tanaka couldn’t keep silent. He cupped his hands around his mouth and faced Nishinoya and Asahi’s direction, yelling, “GET IT, YUU!”

Hinata followed with, “YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!”

As the two walked out of sight, they heard Ukai yelling at the boys to keep it down. Asahi’s face brightened with embarrassment and he ducked his head in embarrassment as Nishinoya laughed, nuzzling his cheek into the other’s arm happily.


	2. Kageyama & Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***there are slight spoilers to season two; again, they aren’t super huge but in case you don’t wanna know then click away!

“Hey, I have a question for you.” Hinata tossed the volleyball in his hands to Kageyama.

Kageyama caught the ball. “What?”

“Have you told anyone about us yet?”

Kageyama shook his head, tossing the ball into the cart. “No, it’s not their business.”

Hinata nodded once with his lips bunched up. “What about your parents and sister?”

“They think I just don’t like dating.”

“You do, right?”

“I like dating _you_. And if I didn’t, we’d be single. Use your head.” He went around the gym, picking up all of the stray balls they’d hit. “Start cleaning up so we can eat.”

Hinata nodded again, quickly helping with the mess. The two had taken the first few minutes of their lunch break to practice spiking and receiving. The gym was usually empty at this time so they knew they would have the utmost privacy, which also allowed them to talk more openly with each other.

When Kegayama tossed the last ball into the cart, he asked, “Why did you even ask that?”

“Well, I wanted to maybe tell more people about…us, or just about me, because I know that you’re not…out.” He shook his head. “Yeah, but I really want to start telling more people.”

Kageyama shrugged. “Do what you want.”

“And because Noya and Asahi–“

“I know, but we’re not them. You can tell others, just make sure that you don't tell them about me.”

“Got it.”

The two had been dating for a few months. After their argument before and during the Tokyo training camp, they saw how much they truly needed each other. After figuring out their quick attack, they had a conversation about what happened on their own. None of their team members knew about their relationship, which was a bit difficult because it felt like they were hiding a big part of themselves.

Kageyama started rolling the cart towards the closet and Hinata asked another question. “Would you ever want to tell the team?”

“I don’t know, probably not.”

“How come?”

“Because–“ The gym doors opened and the two stopped, looking over to see who it was.

Asahi was the one to open it and Nishinoya was beside him, talking about something, but stopped when he saw the underclassmen. “Ah, sorry!”, Asahi said. “Are we interrupting you two?”

“No, we were just leaving,” Kageyama answered as he started rolling the cart away again.

“We’ll put that away, we were coming in here to practice anyway,” Nishinoya said.

Kageyama stopped in surprise, but then wheeled it back over to where it’d been so the two had easier access to it. “Thank you.” He grabbed his bag. “Hinata, c’mon.”

Hinata said a quick goodbye to his upperclassmen and went after Kageyama. When they were alone, he asked, “What were you going to say before?”

“I don’t know, something about not telling anybody about us,” he answered.

“And what if they find out on their own?”

“I don’t know, but that won’t happen.”

“You seem awfully sure of that.”

“Are you saying that you’re going to tell the team about us?”

“No! I wouldn’t do that to you! Are you dumb?”

“Whatever, let’s just go find somewhere to eat.”

Hinata nodded, falling silent.

Shouyou never liked girls, even since he was a child. He was always friendly to them, but nothing more. His father was concerned by this, but his mother wasn’t. They would often fight about it and clashed about how to go about it. His father had said Shouyou needed to be surrounded by more men, but his mother said that it didn’t matter. When Natsu was born, his mother was preoccupied with her so his father took this as an opportunity to do what he could to get Shouyou to be more masculine. None of it worked, though, and it frustrated his father to no end, but made his mother laugh.

When Shouyou came out to his mom in middle school after realizing he had developed feelings for Izumi Yukitaka, she was more than supportive. She educated herself whenever she could and made sure to teach Natsu that it was okay to love whoever you did, as long as you are happy with them. Natsu was confused, but brushed it aside and listened to her mom.

Shouyou’s father didn’t know about his son’s sexuality until he had been out to his mother for a few months. It slipped out at dinner one night and Shouyou’s father slammed his hand onto the table so hard that it felt like the entire room shook. Shouyou rushed Natsu up to her bedroom so she didn’t have to hear their parents arguing. He remembered hearing a lot of yelling from his father, and decided to see if his mother needed help. He’d checked at the wrong time, though.

When he poked his head around the corner to see if his mom was okay, he saw his father bring his hand down on her hard. She yelled in pain and had fallen on the floor. She stayed there for what felt like an eternity, but managed to get back onto her feet. When her husband tried to leave the kitchen, Shouyou ran back into Natsu’s room in order to hide her under her bed. He heard their mother refusing to let their father leave the current room they were in, there was no telling what he would do to Shouyou.

Luckily, before their father could do anything else, their mother managed to throw him out and didn’t let him back inside. They split up shortly after and their mother even got a restraining order against their father. Shouyou and Natsu haven’t seen him since. And there was so much fear that night that Shouyou couldn’t remember some of it. And he never told anybody about it either.

“I’m not mad at you,” Kageyama said. “I just want to make sure that we won’t get hurt from telling too many people at once.”

“I’m okay with a lot of people knowing. I _want_ more people to know!” He stopped walking when they came across an empty bench, far enough away from the school that nobody would hear their conversation. “I just want us to be happy and not worry about what other people think.”

Kageyama sat, taking out his food and Hinata followed. “You know,” Hinata said, “I really like being with you, and I want to be able to show others that.”

“I know you do.” Kageyama mumbled a quick, “ _Itadakimasu_.”

“ _Itadakimasu_ ,” Hinata repeated quickly. He watched as Kageyama took a bite of food. “I’m not saying that you _have_ to tell anyone. I’m just saying that I would like to tell more people about myself. And I might soon.” He took a bite from his own food. “I ran it by my mom, and she was okay with the idea.”

“That’s different for me, my parents don’t know.”

“I know, but–“

“Can we talk about something else now?”

Hinata shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

Kageyama saw Hinata’s shoulders slump and sighed, covering his food and putting it back in his bag. He took Hinata’s food and did the same.

“Hey!”

“Look at me. I want to tell you something.”

Hinata nodded. “Okay, but make it quick because I want to eat my lunch.”

“I really like being with you, I do. And I know that the team doesn’t have a problem with Nishinoya and Azumane, but they’re not us. We could have a completely different experience than them. And volleyball is important to us, you know that, so let’s just try to focus on that instead.”

“I had to put my food down for you to say _that_?”

Kageyama’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Why are you suddenly not serious about this?”

“Because you were standoffish about it before.”

Kageyama’s family was not a very traditional family, but his parents had their moments of expecting a lot from their only son. He knew that they wanted him to become successful one day with a wife and possibly a few children. He didn’t want that, though. Of course, he wasn’t concerned enough to voice that. They would find out eventually and there wasn’t much they could do about.

He was only concerned with his team knowing about it. He already had to watch his temper, which was pretty hard to manage at times, but now he had to worry about being gay on top of that. One little slip up with him could cost him a whole other team, and he knew he wouldn't be strong enough to deal with that again. Even if Hinata was by his side during it, he wasn’t sure how helpful he could be with a situation like that. Especially considering that he had his mother as a support system, and Kageyama had only ever told one person that he was gay: Hinata.

Kageyama shrugged. “Whatever, just let’s talk about something else.” He and Hinata grabbed their food again.

Hinata pushed some of his around. “So you wanna avoid affection in public, too, right?”

“When others are around, I would.”

Hinata nodded. “If you ever want to talk about the gay thing–“

“I probably won't want to.”

Hinata sighed. “I wish you would tell me how you were feeling a bit more often…”

“I know, but I’m not a very emotional person.”

“I know that, but–“

“Stop talking and eat, stupid.”

Hinata sighed again and started eating more of his food. “Will we ever talk about this?”

“Maybe, just not right now.” There was an edge to Kageyama’s voice.

“Why!” Hinata put his food back down. “I just want to know what’s stopping you! I’m not asking you to tell the next person you see!”

“If you’re gonna keep talking about this then I’m just going to go back to my class and eat.”

“But I’m just curious. I want to know that you’re not stressing yourself out.”

Kageyama packed up his food and stuffed it back into his bag. “I’ll see you after school.” He stood from the bench and began walking away.

Hinata quickly packed up his own lunch and ran after the other. “Hey! Kageyama, wait!” He grabbed his boyfriend’s arm and tugged him to a stop. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

Kageyama took his arm away quickly.

Hinata straightened. “I’m sorry, I just want to–“

“I know you want to know! I get it, but it’s pissing me off!”

Hinata took a step closer. “Because you never talk about it!”

Kageyama pushed on Hinata’s chest to back him up. “Because I don’t want to!” He looked so worked up and he could feel a knot in his stomach. “This isn’t even a good place to talk about it!”

“But nobody’s around and we still have a lot of time left for lunch!”

Kageyama looked around nervously and gulped hard, trying to keep his stare hard. “I-I just don’t want to.”

“Just tell me what I can do!”

“Leave it alone! That’s what you can do!” He turned around and started to walk off again.

Hinata followed his steps, desperate. “Kageyama–“

Kageyama stopped, turned around quickly and yelled, “I can’t have another team leave me! I won’t! So I’m not telling them anything!”

Hinata’s eyes were big with surprise. Then his eyebrows furrowed. “They’re not going to–“

“Shut up! You’re just being optimistic! You don’t know what they’ll say until _after_ they know! And once we’re out, that’s it! You can’t take it back!”

Hinata stepped closer cautiously.

“What are you doing?” His voice was masked with anger, but Hinata heard the fear.

Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand gently. “It’s okay,” his voice was almost inaudible. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t baby me.” He pulled his hand away. “Stop it.”

“Just come with me.” He kept his voice steady despite his building tears and reached for Kageyama’s hand again. “Please, let’s just sit, okay?”

Kageyama shook his head, not pulling his hand away this time. “I don’t want to.”

“Don’t be even more stubborn than you already are!” Hinata dragged him over to the bench they were sitting at before. “Now sit down!” He pushed Kageyama into a sitting position. “I just want to know what’s going on so I know…more. I want to be able to help you.”

Kageyama looked up at Hinata. “I just don’t want to deal with it.”

“I know you don’t.” He sat down, taking Kageyama’s hand again. “I’m sorry for pushing.”

Kageyama shrugged. “I know you care.”

Hinata’s head leaned on Kageyama’s shoulder, his hair brushing against the other’s cheek. “I do. A lot. And I want you to be happy.”

Kageyama’s hand squeezed around Hinata’s sadly.

“I love you.”

Their hands separated and Kageyama pulled away to see Hinata. “What?”

Hinata gulped. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to– I just– Because you were so–“ He looked up, not sure how to form his sentence. He and Kageyama were close, but they’d never said “I love you” to each other. They did like each other very much, that was true, and Hinata hadn’t actually meant to say it. He stopped trying to talk and had a nervous look on his face.

Kageyama was just as unsure of what to do. He obviously wanted to say it back. He scooted himself closer to Hinata, his shock going away. “Do you mean that?”

“D-Do you want me to mean it?”

His eyes narrowed. “Answer me.”

Hinata nodded quickly. “O-Of course I do!” He straightened. “Why wouldn’t I?” Hinata saw Kageyama’s eyes water and quickly took back what he said, thinking that’s what upset him. “No, don’t do that! I-I don’t mean it! Don’t cry! I didn’t mean that! I-I…I…”

Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s shoulders and pulled him into a crushing hug, burying his face into the latter’s shoulder. Hinata gulped. “Kageyama?” There was no response. “Tobio?”

“Mmm…don’t wanna talk about it…”

“Then listen to me.” Hinata brought his arms around Kageyama and ran a hand up and down his back. “The team loves you. They won’t leave you.” He sucked in a breath. “And if they do…then I’m gone, too. I’ll be with you one hundred percent no matter what happens…”

Kageyama’s voice was muffled as he asked, “You’d really leave them?”

“Yeah. If I had to.”

“Mm…You’re too nice.”

“Not to you, I’m not.”

Kageyama tightened his grip on Hinata. “I deserve that.”

“Shut up.”

Hinata’s hand stopped moving when Kageyama pulled his head away. He could feel his hair sticking to his forehead, and saw a wet patch on Hinata’s shoulder. They met each other’s eyes, not pulling away from their embrace. Kageyama leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Hinata’s lips. “I love you, too,” he said with pink cheeks.

Hinata smiled, resting the side of his face onto Kageyama’s chest. They had forgotten about eating and just sat in their spots until it was time to go back to class.

~

Hinata and Kageyama agreed to meet each other after classes so they could go to practice together. Neither had stopped thinking about their conversation at lunch, but were both too scared to bring it up, especially with so many people around.

But all afternoon, they both kept thinking about saying and hearing “I love you.” It felt so nice. Of course they had heard it from their families all of the time. But this was so much different because they’d never said it to each other. Neither had ever felt so strongly about something other than volleyball.

At practice, they excelled more than usual. They had so much positive energy, and it left the team stunned. Where had it come from? Even Kageyama and Hinata couldn’t explain it. Well…they couldn’t explain it because it had to do with the fact that they’d said “I love you.” After practice had ended, Kageyama walked with Hinata until they had to split up and go their own ways.

<3 KAGSSS <3

_I’m home u can sleep now_

_yay! <3 glad you got home safe :D _

_whatever just go to sleep_

_but i wanna talk for a bit :(_

_about???_

_just stuff_

_i like talking to you_

_ok_

_how were ur classes_

_BORINGGGGG_

_but thinking about you kept me awake in class :)_

_and i hope you’re feeling better from lunch_

_I am_

_i’m glad!! i feel better since after our talk_

_i know it wasn’t easy_

_but i luv that you talked to me_

_it’s whatever_

_noooo it's not whatever_

_ <33 _

_how were your classes today_

_almost fell asleep_

_multiple times_

_but i thought about u_

_ur so sweet :D <<<<33333333 _

_I’m not but ok_

_you ARE >:(((( _

_ok ok ok_

_I am ig_

_but so r u_

_why are you such a good bf_

_you make me so happy_

_ik_

_…_

_ahem-_

_oh right_

_yea you make me happy too_

_ <3 _

They talked for hours and when Hinata fell asleep by accident, Kageyama sent a few more messages before going to bed himself.

_did u fall asleep_

_dumbass_

_ok get a good night sleep_

_Luv u_

_wait that was lame_

_I love you_

_so much_

_wait now that’s sappy_

_whatever I love you <3 _

_goodnight, I’ll meet u at our usual spot tmw_

Everything between them was perfectly fine in the morning. They kept up their energy in practice despite their lack of sleep. And when they went to classes, they walked closer than they usually did, but still put a good amount of distance between them so they weren’t suspicious. At lunch, they went to the same bench they went to the day before. They didn’t have too groundbreaking to talk about, but it was secluded from the rest of the school so they could hold hands and “do other couple things” as Kageyama put it, to which Hinata blushed and then was scolded for having “a dirty mind.”

Then after lunch it was time for classes again, which couldn’t pass by slower. When it was time for practice, Hinata waited outside of Kageyama’s class for him and they walked together, which Tsukishima laughed at when he and Yamaguchi saw them.

After getting changed, the team found it strange how Kageyama and Hinata hadn’t tried to race each other to practice, how Kageyama seemed less angry than usual, and how Hinata seemed excited to be around Kageyama. And they weren’t barking orders at each other like they usually did, either. Even Ukai and Takeda picked up on this, but were just happy to see them getting along. And as long as their playing wasn’t negatively affected, which it wasn’t, then they were fine.

After practice, the team had cleaned up the gym and Daichi was surprised to feel a tap on his shoulder with a quiet, “Captain?”

He turned to see Hinata looking up at him. He smiled. “Hey, great practice today!”

“It was!”

“Did you need something?”

“I wanted to talk to the team about something. I’m sorry it’s so last minute, but I wanted to wait until the end of practice for it. So it wouldn’t take away time.”

“Of course, don’t be sorry.” He called for the team to gather in a circle. “Hinata wanted to tell us something.” He looked down. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Hinata nodded and saw everybody staring at him. He gulped. _It’s now or never._ He opened his mouth and started slowly. “Sorry that I didn’t warn anybody about this before, but I thought it would be better to bring it up now so nobody was wondering during practice…And I didn’t want to take any time away from today, either.”

Ukai nodded, his arms crossed.. “It’s okay, just try to make it quick.”

“Mm, right.” He tried to keep eye contact with everybody and not just Kageyama. “So…I’ve been thinking about this for awhile…I’ve wanted to talk about this for _awhile_! Um…” He inhaled deeply. “I’m gay.” He gulped as he waited for a response. They seemed to be waiting for him, though, so he continued. “It’s okay if some of you are uncomfortable or anything. I know that not everybody is okay with it, and–“

“Nonsense,” Sugawara said. “If there's anybody on the team that isn’t okay with it then that’s their problem.”

“We support you one hundred percent!”, Nishinoya yelled, hitting Hinata’s back.

Hinata smiled. “Really?”

“Of course we do. You’re still a member of the team,” Ukai said.

Hinata sighed in relief dramatically. “Okay, good! It’s been killing me not telling you guys!”

“I admire that you told us.”

Hinata looked at the coach in surprise. “You do?”

Ukai nodded. “It is nowhere near easy to come out, especially when you’re an athlete. The fact that you had the confidence to tell all of us is really something.”

“It is!”, Takeda said. “I’m proud of you that you’re able to embrace that side of yourself, too! Instead of being scared of it, you were able to celebrate it. You are very brave, Hinata.”

Hinata’s cheeks went pink and he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Stop it, I’m not _that_ brave.”

“Yes, you are.”

As the team continued to talk, Kageyama could help but think what would happen if he had been besides Hinata. He wanted nothing more than to come out with his boyfriend, telling the team how much they loved each other. Okay, maybe not _exactly_ that because he wasn’t a very sappy guy, but he just wanted to be next to Hinata. He wanted to walk up to him and take him into a long kiss, telling the team that it was both of them who were this way. Instead he took a step back and lowered his gaze to the floor.

He saw Hinata’s smile drop slightly, but they both tried to ignore each other. Nobody had really noticed this except for Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, who had been standing closest to Kageyama. They didn’t talk about it, though. They had a feeling there was more to it than what they were seeing. And it also wasn’t their business.

After Hinata was done with what he wanted to talk about and the team was satisfied, it was time to go home. Everybody was exhausted. Kageyama’s demeanor was completely different from before, though. He wasn’t mad at Hinata, he was mad at himself. Well…part of him was annoyed with Hinata for not telling him that he was coming out to the team, but he was mostly angry at himself for not being in the same place as his boyfriend. He wanted to be open with the team, but was too nervous with all the possible outcomes.

He tried to walk to his house on his own, but Hinata had called his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear. He stopped and turned to see Hinata hurrying over to him with his bike. “You almost left without me!”

Kageyama shrugged. “Yeah, sorry.”

Hinata tilted his head. “You okay? You seem upset.”

He shrugged again. “Just tired.”

“You’re not mad about before, are you?”

Kageyama gulped. “No.”

Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, you are.” He reached outward with one hand, but Kageyama quickly ripped his arm out of reach. Hinata dropped his hand sadly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to–“

“Just shut up, you’re gonna draw attention to us!”

Ukai looked at them after locking the gym. “Hey, you two, it’s late. Don’t get into a fight, just get home.”

Kageyama nodded. “Sorry.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked away quickly, away from his and Hinata’s usual path. He started passing Daichi and Sugawara, who were just starting to go home.

They looked at each other in confusion. “Kageyama,” Daichi started, making the first-year stop in his tracks. “Isn’t your house the other way?”

“I’m going the long way tonight,” Kageyama spat, speeding off again.

Sugawara looked over at Hinata, who had a lump forming in his throat. He turned around after seeing Kageyama disappear from view and focused on getting himself home soon so he could ask him about it through text. But the more he thought about it, the more emotional he became.

What happened? Kageyama was fine the other day and nothing was going on with him all day. Not even Tsukishima’s “king” comments had bothered him. And then Hinata was coming out and Kageyama was all distant and aloof. Like how he was when they tried to talk about coming out in the first place. But Hinata hadn’t even mentioned Kageyama when telling the team. So what was the problem? He respected his boyfriend’s wishes and kept their relationship a secret.

He remembered how coming out wasn’t even a problem when they had first started dating. They wanted to give themselves a week or two to get situated in their new relationship before telling too many people. The only person who was told about their relationship was Hinata’s mother, who was more than happy to know they were together.

After their argument about their quick attack, Kageyama and Hinata had a hard time getting along for a bit of time. But when they’d gotten past it, which wasn’t easy, they felt a closeness they couldn’t shake. They’d tried to forget about it and focus on just volleyball and school, but it didn’t work.

Hinata had been at his desk, trying to study, when he had broken down into tears. All he could think about was Kageyama and what might happen to their friendship. They were getting along again so it was okay. Right? What if it wasn’t? Kageyama hadn’t seemed very phased by anything, and was doing just fine.

Hinata could _not_ have another crush on a friend. For one, Kageyama was most likely straight, and, two, the last time Hinata had a crush on one of his friends, his parents divorced.

He picked up his pencil again and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands, trying to focus on the work in front of him. But then his phone went off so he dropped his pencil again and checked who was calling.

_KAGSSS :D_

Hinata gulped and answered his phone quickly. “H-Hey.” He sniffed.

_“I have a question.”_

“Yeah?”

“ _Do you know the conjugations for–“_ Another sniff stopped Kageyama. He thought the first one was nothing, but knew it couldn’t be with the second one. _“Are you…Are you okay?”_

“Hm? Yeah! Perfectly fine!” He wiped his eyes again.

_“You don’t sound fine.”_

Hinata didn’t see the use in creating an argument about this so he asked his question fast. “Are you gay?” But that wasn’t the best way to go about it…His question was _supposed_ to ask if Kageyama was against gay people, not if he _was_ gay.

 _“A-Am I_ what _? What are you doing, asking me a question like that!”_

“I-I’m sorry!” He had to explain himself quickly. “ _I’m_ gay and I had to tell you that. I-I was gonna ask if you were against that, but…it came out wrong.” He gulped, calming himself down slightly. “And I’m sorry for our figh–“

_“You’ve already apologized for that. Now stop because we’re past it.”_

“I-I’m just making sure.” He gulped again. “But, um…sorry for asking you that stupid question.”

 _“It’s fine.”_ He lowered his voice to a whisper as he said, _“And I am.”_

Hinata perked. “You’re gay?”

 _“Lower your voice!”_ , he hissed. _“My family doesn’t know!”_

“Sorry!”

_“Why are you asking me this?”_

Hinata blinked. He wasn’t entirely sure. “Just having a rough day, I guess.”

_“Mm. Well…if I can help just tell me, I guess.”_

Hinata nodded. “Yeah, yeah, uh…You needed help with something, right?”

_“Oh, just a conjugation. It’s fine, I can look at it later. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?”_

“Could you, actually?”

_“Yeah.”_

And they talked until Kageyama almost fell asleep at his desk. This was a normal occurrence for them. They loved to talk with each other (even if the team didn’t believe that). When Kageyama yawned for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, Hinata decided to let him sleep and apologized for taking away from his studying. Kageyama didn’t mind. Talking with Hinata was much better than studying words and conjugations in English he could barely remember.

The next day they didn’t have school, which was nice. Kageyama told his parents he would be studying at Hinata’s house for the day and Hinata’s mother and sister agreed to leave the two alone so they could get work done. When Kageyama arrived, Hinata shut the door to his bedroom behind him. “Sorry for last night, it was kind of random.”

Kageyama shook his head. “Don’t be.” He looked nervous to ask, “Are you okay?”

Hinata shrugged. “Just thinking a lot.”

“About yesterday?”

Hinata cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess…And our fight…I still feel bad about it.”

“Why?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you and how I made you mad.”

Kageyama gulped. _“I can’t stop thinking about you”? What does that mean?_ “Well don’t. I’m not mad about that anymore. You were stressed out, I get it.”

Hinata’s eyes still had guilt in them. He didn’t say anything. Kageyama tilted to the side to try and meet his eyes. “Seriously, I’m over it.” When his bottom lip started to quiver, Kageyama’s eyes went big with fear. “Hinata?”

Hinata wiped at his eyes quickly. “Dammit.” Before Kageyama could figure out what to do, small arms were wrapping around his waist tightly. “Mmm…m’sorry…m’being a baby…” Hinata hid his face in Kageyama’s chest and his words came out muffled.

Kageyama slowly put his arms around the other. Had they ever been this close off of the volleyball court? “No, you’re not. Why are you upset?”

“Mmm…because I’m a bad friend…”

“But you’re not.”

Hinata peered up at Kageyama. “I _feel_ like a bad friend.” They only stared at each other. A minute passed and they hadn’t moved. Then they were both suddenly aware of how close they really were, and Hinata pushed himself away with embarrassment. “Sorry! I shouldn’t have–“

“I-It’s fine!”

Hinata hesitated before saying, “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but…” He inhaled shakily. “I like you a lot. It’s been bothering me since our fight.”

“You…you what?”

Hinata licked his lips. “I had a feeling you’d say that…” He waited for some sort of response and wasn’t surprised to hear nothing. But it still made him nervous. He wanted Kageyama to say _something_. But he didn’t so he opened his mouth again. “I just wanted to tell you because I’ve been so nervous it would slip out or something, and then–“

Kageyama grabbed Hinata by his shirt, pulled him into his chest and kissed him very clumsily. They pulled away and Hinata gasped loudly while taking a few steps back. “What was that for?”

Kageyama’s face went from shock (with himself) to annoyance. “What do you mean _what was that for_!”

“Well I don’t know what that meant!”

“You dumbass, I kissed you! What do you think that means?”

“You wanted me to be quiet?”

“Yes, but that I like you!”

Hinata beamed, his nerves from before disappearing instantly. “You do?”

“Yes! Why would I kiss you if I didn’t?”

Hinata ran to Kageyama again and took him into a tight hug. Kageyama lost his footing under himself and fell backwards onto Hinata’s bed. Hinata giggled loudly as Kageyama tried to reach him for his lips with his own again.

They were so happy when that happened. And when they went to school, the team was confused because they’d been so different with each other. Hinata wanted to get them to a place where they could be happy in front of their team and others without having to hide anything. But Kageyama was so terrified of anybody other than Hinata knowing. And Hinata was okay with the fact that Kageyama didn’t want to tell many people, especially because they were still a relatively new couple, but he didn’t want his boyfriend afraid of his sexuality. At the end of the day, as corny as this sentence was, it didn’t matter what others thought as long as they were happy.

Hinata sniffled helplessly as he locked up his bike for the night. His mother greeted him when he went inside, but he just went to his room. She asked if he was okay, but he said he didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kageyama and just hoped that he’d take the night to sort out his feelings.

Kageyama had gotten home safely, but just went to his room silently after eating a quick dinner. He hadn’t talked much about his day, which wasn’t anything new, and when he was about to go to bed, he saw his phone and couldn’t help but send Hinata a quick text.

dumbass (<3)

_I’m home_

He didn’t expect an answer, but was still very happy to get one.

_good <3 _

_I love you_

_I love you too <3 _

On both sides of the conversation, tears hit phone screens and sniffs were muffled or stifled. They both waited for somebody to say something so they could have one of their usual night time conversations. Nothing came for a short time.

_I’m proud of u for telling the team_

_sorry for getting mad_

_I don’t know what happened_

_it’s ok_

_i should have told you before_

_no_

_I’m sorry for making you think that_

_it’s ok_

_no it’s not_

_I’ll make it up to u_

_Promise_

_you don’t have to_

_really_

_i just want you to be happy_

_u make me happy_

_I want u to be happy_

_and i want YOU to be happy_

_I love you_

_I love you_

Then they went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh this one was hard to write, especially when Kageyama cries bc he’s such a,,,non emotional character. And i bet you can tell that i like to write in the texting portions (those are fun for me lol)  
> The ending for this was kinda,,,idk how to feel about it; they already had the longest chapter so i didn’t want to make it even longer and i didn’t wanna give it a cliche ending so feel free to interpret the ending as you want :)  
> Anyway, i hope you enjoyed!! Thanks for reading.  
> **and the part with Hinata’s parents was completely made up by me, I don’t know how it came to me, but it did; i kind of want to do more w it but i have no clue what i would write for that


	3. Tsukishima & Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi was looking up at the ceiling, Tsukishima’s hand in both of his. “You have super long fingers,” he mumbled. He was lying down and Tsukishima was sitting up besides him, staring down at Yamaguchi’s face. His arm was held out after Yamaguchi had begun holding his hand. Whenever they hung out, they would sit on someone’s bed and just stay with each other for hours. They usually had nothing else to do, and it was nice to get lost in each other’s company. They were usually quiet, no matter where they were, but it was peaceful.

In the middle of tracing around Tsukishima’s knuckles, Yamaguchi stopped and peered up at the other. His brow was knitted and he seemed like he was concentrating on something…something on his face. “Is there something on me?”

“Sh, concentrating.”

Yamaguchi looked confused. “On what?”

Tsukishima groaned quietly and moved his face closer to Yamaguchi’s. “Freckles. I wanna see how many you have.”

Yamaguchi blinked. “You can’t possibly count every single freckle on my face.”

“Well, I was close to being done with one side, but you made me lose count.” He grabbed Yamaguchi’s cheeks in one hand and pulled his face even closer. “Stay still.”

Yamaguchi bunched his lips together. “So you’re just gonna count my freckles? You’re not gonna…kiss me or anything?”

Tsukishima’s eyes went from Yamaguchi’s cheeks to his lips. He closed the very small gap between them and Yamaguchi smiled into their kiss, but it didn’t last long because he could hear footsteps coming towards his bedroom. In a panic, he pushed against Tsukishima’s chest hard to create a noticeable distance between them again, but Yamaguchi had pushed too hard and was on the floor, laying on his back. He groaned as Tsukishima quickly poked his head over the side of the bed. “What happened?”

The door opened. “Boys!” His mother was smiling as she stood in the doorway. “Do you need anything in here?” She saw Tsukishima leaning over the bed and blinked. “Are you two okay?”

“Just fell,” Yamaguchi answered, raising a hand up. “I’m fine, mom.”

“Okay, well if you two need anything, just tell me!”

“Thanks mom.”

“Thank you,” Tsukishima said.

“Of course, of course!”, she chirped. She turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Yamaguchi sighed heavily. “That was close…”

Tsukishima stood from the bed and pulled the other to his feet. “I’m assuming you still haven’t told your parents.”

Yamaguchi shook his head. “Sorry, Tsukki…I was going to last night, but I…chickened out.”

Tsukishima sat back on the bed. “Don’t be sorry, you’re ready when you’re ready. That has nothing to do with me.”

Yamaguchi flopped onto his back next to his boyfriend. “You’re so nice…but I feel like I’m annoying you with this. It’s the fifth time this month I stopped myself.”

Yamaguchi had wanted to tell his parents that he was bisexual since he found out in his first year of middle school. He thought that the fact that he liked girls would make them feel better. And maybe the fact that his boyfriend was Tsukishima and not somebody they didn’t know would make them feel better, too.

But every time Yamaguchi had thought he worked up enough courage to come out, his heart raced, his palms grew sweaty, and he became lightheaded whenever he got close to telling them. After every “failed” attempt, he would go to Tsukishima. No matter how many times Yamaguchi put himself down about not being able to tell his parents, Tsukishima only praised him for being brave enough to try in the first place.

The two had only started dating in their last year of middle school, but they loved every minute of being a couple, even if they weren’t obvious about it in public.

The first-years on the volleyball team knew about them and so did Mr. Takeda. None of them judged, not even Kageyama, which surprised Tsukishima. Some of the second years knew, like Ennoshita, Nishinoya and Tanaka, and Sugawara knew too. Neither Yamaguchi nor Tsukishima cared who else knew, just as long as it didn’t get back to Yamaguchi’s parents. They were to only find out from Yamaguchi, and this had been agreed upon since their first year of middle school, when Yamaguchi came out to Tsukishima. He was the first person the former had told, and right after, Tsukishima told him he was gay.

Tsukishima’s family was completely different. Both his parents and his brother knew about his sexuality. He came out to them when he was a second-year in middle school, and his parents had a bit of a rough time adjusting to the news. They eventually did, though, and although they had some off moments, they were just happy that he was happy (and with someone as good as Yamaguchi).

“That doesn’t matter.”

“You told your family so easily…” Yamaguchi sat up and leaned his cheek on Tsukki’s shoulder. “I wish I could do that…”

“We have two different families.” Tsukishima’s hand snaked around Yamaguchi’s waist. “You know that.” His voice was gentle. “And I’m not going to make you do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know…” He looked up. “I don’t know what to do…”

“Just give yourself some time.”

“But I wanna get it over with. I keep thinking that every time my parents need to tell me something, it’s about me being bi, and it freaks me out. I don’t want them finding out through anybody else.”

“Do not force yourself.”

“I’m not, I know that I want to tell them. Keeping it from them is getting a lot harder…What if I try tonight? I got pretty close last night, and–“

“Are you asking for my permission?”

“Well, I–“

“If you think you’re ready then go for it, okay?”

“And then I’ll tell you how it goes.”

“Mm, you can. But you don’t have to.”

Yamaguchi picked up his head to meet Tsukishima’s eyes. “I’ll tell you before dinner if I decide to tell them.”

“And I will support you either way.” He pressed a quick kiss to Yamaguchi’s cheek, making him smile big.

~

KEI :P :) B) <3

_ Ok I think I’m gunna do it _

_ Should I? _

_ I think I should _

_ Is this smart? _

_ HELP ME I’M SCARED _

_ Don’t be _

_ You’re gonna do fine _

_ And if you can’t go through with it, that’s okay _

_ But I want to do this!!! _

_ I know you want to _

_ I’ll be here for you no matter what _

_ YOU’RE SO SWEET FOR NO REASON _

_ DO NOT MAKE ME CRY WITH YOUR SWEET WORDS _

_ DO YOU HEAR ME TSUKISHIMA KEI?!?!?!?! _

_ I do, now stop yelling _

_ You’re freaking yourself out _

_ AM I?????? _

_ Yes >:| _

_ Ok I’m sorry _

_ Don’t be, just talk to your parents calmly _

_ They’ll probably have questions _

_ So prepare yourself _

_ And if you don’t tell them IT’S OKAY _

_ You’re brave whether you tell them or not _

_ I am?? _

_ How??? _

_ Because you’re trying to work yourself up to telling them’ _

_ And that’s not easy _

_ Oh god dinner’s ready _

_ I’m scared _

_ I might pee myself _

_ Or throw up _

_ Don’t do that _

_ I am right here for you _

_ And once you’re done with dinner, tell me how it goes _

_ I’ll be waiting _

_ You’re gonna do fine _

_ Now go come out _

_ Ok ok ok ok ok _

_ I’m going _

_ I love you _

_ Gimme a good luck kiss _

_ Through the screen _

_ Please _

_ I need one _

_ Here _

_ :3 _

_ <3 _

_ You can do this _

_ Just breathe _

_ I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU _

_ YOU’RE SO GOOD TO ME I LOVE YOU _

_ T-T _

_ <3 _

_ I love you too _

“Tadashi!”, his mother called. “Come on, the food is going to get cold!”

Yamaguchi gulped. “Coming!” He dropped his phone on his bed and slowly went out into the dining room. His parents were already sitting at their spots. He took his seat and gulped hard.

They said a quick, “ _ Itadakimasu _ ,” then began eating. Yamaguchi barely touched his food and pushed it around. His father eyed him. “Tadashi, stop playing with your food. Your mother took a lot of time to prepare it.”

“I-I know that,” he said.

“Are you even hungry?”, his mother asked. “You didn’t eat much today. Come on, eat something.”

Yamaguchi forced down a few bites of food, but it made him feel nauseous. His hands were already clammy, making it hard to eat in the first place, and his heart was hammering against his chest. He feared his parents could hear it. Eventually, he said what was on his mind. “I need to tell you two something important.”

They both looked up at their son then to each other nervously, but then back to Tadashi. “Is everything okay?”, his mother asked.

“Now that you mention it,” his father started, “it seems as though something is wrong. You’ve been a lot more nervous lately. Your anxiety acting up?”

“Mm…a little.” Yamaguchi shook his head. “But this isn’t that.”

“Do you feel sick?”, his mother asked.

“N-No!” He took in a deep breath. There was no going back now. “I…I’ve wanted to tell you two for…a-awhile…”, he gulped, “that I…I’m, um…” He didn’t take his eyes from the table. “Uh…”

His father was growing irritated. “Tadashi,  _ talk _ ! Use your words!”

“I’m bisexual!” His eyes squeezed shut after he said it. He  _ definitely _ could not go back now.

There was stunned silence. Although he couldn’t see his parents’ faces, he could only imagine them with shocked looks across their faces.

Then there was shuffling, like somebody was standing up. Yamaguchi kept his head down, but his eyes had opened. There was silence except for a few footsteps coming in his direction. His father was suddenly next to him saying, “Look at me,” in a stern voice.

Yamaguchi looked up slowly, tears brimming in his eyes.

His father raised his hand so quickly that Yamaguchi barely processed what was happening until he was on the ground, his father towering over him with the angriest expression on his face Yamaguchi had ever seen. He was terrified, and what made it worse was that he had never been terrified of his parents like this before.

His mother was silent and she only turned her head to the side, looking disappointed. Yamaguchi's breath hitched. “M-Mom?” She didn’t respond, she only turned her face away more, shutting her eyes with shame.

After a few more seconds of shock, Yamaguchi got to his feet slowly and started to his room. First it was a calm pace, but it quickened until he was running. His vision was blurred from his tears and he could barely see where he was going. He was so overwhelmed that he’d hit into the wall next to his bedroom door. He fumbled with the doorknob, but then managed to get inside and shut the door behind himself.

He threw himself onto his bed, only able to cry silently into his pillow. He didn’t expect himself to be in this situation. Coming out had gone in one of the worst ways he could have imagined. But he didn’t think that the possibility of not being accepted would go this way. He thought it wasn’t possible for that to happen to him. He barely even said anything…and there was so much he had wanted to share. He hardly ate dinner…

He felt a burning on his cheek from where he’d received the hit. This afternoon, Tsukishima was counting the freckles there…It was such a drastic change. The throbbing only reminded him of the  _ enormous _ mistake he had made. Thinking about it, which was all he could do, made him cry harder. So he buried his face into his pillow further, trying to keep himself quiet, and a wet spot from his tears grew under him.

He desperately wanted to go back in time and talk himself out of saying anything about his sexuality. As the seconds ticked by, he started to question why he thought his parents would be supportive of him. He was their only son and they wanted him to have a wife and a few children in a nice house where they were making a lot of money when he was older. And that was a possibility! But at the moment, he wanted to marry Tsukki one day, and have a house and kids with  _ him _ .

Tsukki…He didn’t even have the chance to talk about Tsukki…

That didn’t matter, though, because Yamaguchi was happy to not have brought him up. His parents would probably try to keep them apart if they’d known.

He rolled on his back, sighing heavily. His tears hadn’t stopped, but he was starting to become short of breath. He looked up at the ceiling with a shaky inhale. The same ceiling he’d looked up at when feeling Tsukishima’s hand as he had his freckles counted.

He had to think about something else. He  _ wanted _ to think about something else. He tried to wrack his brain for happier times to calm himself down. When thinking about a particularly good one, he shut his eyes happily.

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima hung out often and it was usually at Tsukishima’s house, mainly because his family didn’t care about their relationship. Kei’s parents had been supportive almost the entire time they’d known about their son being gay, and his brother was happy to know that his brother knew about himself in that way. Kei knew that it was important, but he didn’t want to make it a big deal. All he wanted to tell his family was that he liked boys instead of girls and he didn’t care much if they didn’t like that, they weren’t him.

Today, after school, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were on Tsukishima’s bed. Tsukishima was sitting against the headboard, looking down at his phone, while Yamaguchi was laying on his back thinking as he stared up at the ceiling. They were usually pretty quiet with each other, but didn’t mind. Tsukki wasn’t one to talk much and Yamaguchi was always afraid he was saying too much.

Tsukishima glanced at Yamaguchi then back to his phone. “You seem stressed out.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes trailed over in Tsukki’s direction. “What?”

“You look stressed. Did you do bad on the test we got back today?”

“No.”

“Then why do you look like that?”

Yamaguchi gulped. “Look like what?”

Tsukishima dropped his phone in his lap. “Are you thinking about telling your parents again?”

Yamaguchi’s hands went over his face. “Yes! Ugh, it’s  _ killing _ me! Do you know how bad I want to go up to my parents and tell them that I’m bi?  _ Really bad _ !” He dragged his hands down his face and they rested on his stomach. “And I tried again a few days ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. How pathetic is that?”

Tsukishima’s eyebrows knitted together. “It’s not. I have told you this since the beginning of middle school: you come out when you’re ready.”

“But I want to so badly!”

“I know you do, but you’re degrading yourself.” He stood and went into his backpack.

Yamaguchi propped himself up on his elbow and stared at the other. “What are you doing?”

“Getting something. Stay there.”

Yamaguchi fell back onto his back with a huff.

Tsukishima found his headphones, plugged them into his phone and then sat down next to Yamaguchi again. Yamaguchi watched with confusion as the headphones were placed on his head. “What are you doing?”

“Shush.” Tsukishima scrolled through his phone, adjusted the volume then played a song he knew Yamaguchi would like.

Yamaguchi’s eyebrows furrowed, but then his face lit up. “I love this song!”

“I know you do, that's why I put it on.” That wasn’t the only reason. Yamaguchi really liked this song, yes, which was the only reason Tsukishima had it in his playlist to begin with, but the words were…very hard to explain. But they were loving in a way where it could pass as platonic, as if it was just someone singing about a best friend. But if one really analyzed the song and listened to it, something Tsukishima didn’t do often, it was clear that it was for a crush, who was most likely a friend.

Tsukishima didn’t create many deep bonds with anyone, but Yamaguchi was very different. Not many people made him genuinely happy, but Yamaguchi did. He was the only person he’d ever made a playlist for, too. There was a folder under the one labeled  _ music _ called  _ Tadashi _ . It came in handy for moments like this when Yamaguchi couldn’t get out of his head. And although he had a separate folder for the music Yamaguchi liked, Tsukishima kept this particular song saved in his own playlist.

After the song had ended, Yamaguchi took the headphones from his head. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Tsukishima turned off the next song that was beginning to play then put his phone and headphones to the side lazily. “Feel better?”

He nodded. “Mhm.” He blinked a few times then looked back at Tsukishima. “Do you know what that song is about?”

_ Uh, oh. _ Tsukishima gulped. “What?”

“Do you know what that song is about?” He sat himself up on his elbows again. “Because I looked it up the other night and it said that it was about a friendship between the artist and her best friend. But after doing further digging, I found out that she’s bisexual. So do you think there’s a hidden meaning? Her fans think so.”

Tsukishima’s heart raced in his chest. “I don’t know, I don’t listen to her music.”

Yamaguchi bunched his lips up. “You should, I think you’d like some of her stuff.”

“Mm, maybe.”

“But…there’s one lyric in the song…it makes me believe the theories online…even though I don’t like theories about other people’s lives…” He laughed with embarrassment. “It makes me want to kiss somebody.” His nose wrinkled. “That’s really weird to say.”

Tsukishima didn’t think so. That song made him feel the same way. “It’s not.” He said it so easily, even though he was screaming at himself inside to not say anything else.

Yamaguchi looked away at the wall in front of them. “Today at lunch somebody asked me if we were dating.”

Tsukishima almost fell out of his spot. “What?  _ Now _ you’re being weird.”

Yamaguchi looked up again. “I’m serious. She came up to me and said, ‘Are you and Tsukishima gay?’. I told her no because nobody knows about me and I don’t know how you feel about being out to more people.”

He didn’t know what else to say.

“Do you think we come off as a couple?”

“I-I don’t know.”

Yamaguchi sat up quickly. “You do!”

“I don’t!”

They sat staring at each other, both terrified to move. Tsukishima’s fear was somewhat visible, but Yamaguchi’s wasn’t as noticeable. This was very new to both of them because usually Tsukishima was the calm one and Yamaguchi wasn’t. What was even more surprising was when Tsukishima found himself grabbing Yamaguchi and bringing their lips together. Yamaguchi tried to catch himself on the mattress, but his hand went back too far and they tumbled off the bed, Tsukishima landing on top of Yamaguchi.

“Are you okay!”, Yamaguchi asked worriedly, despite having hit his head on the ground.

Tsukishima slowly rose and pushed himself to the side of Yamaguchi. “Are  _ you _ okay? I just crushed you.”

Yamaguchi smiled. “I’m perfectly fine.”

_ Ring!! _

Yamaguchi’s eyes snapped back open and he was looking at the ceiling again. But it wasn’t Tsukishima’s, which saddened him. But he was more focused on the fact that he didn’t remember a phone call in this story.

_ Ring!! _

Oh, that’s his phone right now! He sat up and searched through the fabric of his comforter for his phone, remembering leaving it somewhere on his bed. He found it quickly and checked who could have possibly been calling him.

KEI :P :) B) <3

Yamaguchi’s eyes went huge and then his eyebrows furrowed. He had forgotten that Tsukishima would call him after dinner. He gulped and wiped at his stained cheeks, then inhaled sharply. “Hello?” He held his breath so it wouldn’t hitch.

_ “How did it go? Are you okay?” _

Yamaguchi did not last long. He released the breath he was holding and his bottom lip quivered. He was silent except for a few whimpers.

_ “Yamaguchi?” _

“He hit me…”, he whispered, still unable to believe it. Saying it out loud made it seem even more impossible.

Tsukishima’s heart broke.  _ “What?” _

“M-My dad, he hit me…as soon as I said it…” He gulped. “I didn’t even say much,” his voice kept breaking. “All I said was that I was bisexual and then he just hit me…” He choked on a sob.

“ _ Yamaguchi…”  _ His breathing picked up and he coughed a few times, losing control of his breaths.  _ “Yamaguchi, calm down.” _

“They hate me,” he wheezed. “They hate me, they hate me!”

It hurt to hear him like this.  _ “I promise you they don’t.” _

“Yes, they do!”

_ “I’m coming over.” _

“No!” His voice strained. “No, if you do, they’ll get even angrier!” He hiccuped between his words. “Don’t! Please! Just stay on the phone with me.”

_ “Tadashi, he  _ hit _ you! You can’t be there alone! At least come here. So I know that you’re safe.” _

There was a soft knock at his door. Yamaguchi’s sobs stopped and were reduced to scared sniffs.

Tsukishima was scared he had left.  _ “Tadashi?” _

He lowered his voice. “I think someone is trying to come in.”

_ “Don’t let them in.” _ He was ready to beg.

He was too afraid to disobey his parents right now. “I‘ll get in more trouble.” His voice was surprisingly calm. “If something goes wrong, I’ll call you back, okay?”

Tsukishima felt his heart beat faster. He kept his voice steady.  _ “Tadashi, please don’t hang up.” _

“I won’t be long.”

He knew that there was no talking him out of this.  _ “Be careful.  _ Please _.” _

“I will.”

_ “I love you.” _

“Love you, too.” When he hung up, there was another knock at the door. He put his phone in his pocket. “Come in.” His voice had fear laced in it.

The door opened gently and his mother had a small plate of food in her hand. “I thought you’d be hungry. You didn’t finish your dinner.”

Yamaguchi shrugged. “I-I’m not.”

She put the plate aside and sat on the edge of his bed. “I know that you’re upset with your father and me…I want to talk to you about it.”

Yamaguchi felt a surge of hope in him. Maybe she would try to understand him.

“I know that you think that you are this way, but…everybody goes through phases in high school, Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi’s hope went away fast.  _ Phase? _

“And I think that that’s what this is.” She put a hand on his knee. “We love you very much and would never want you hurt. We want what’s best for you, of course, that’s all we’ve ever wanted. And we can get past this.” What did she mean by that? That his parents would try to understand or that he would grow out of his “phase”? She gave him a small smile, but he couldn’t return it.

“Phase?”, he asked quietly with a crack in his voice.

She blinked in surprise when his eyes watered. “Why are you getting emotional?”

He pulled his knee away and stood. “You’re supposed to support me.”

“I can’t, Tadashi.”

“Do you know how  _ hard _ it was to tell you in the first place?”

“Do you know how hard it is to hear that you turned into this?”

“I’m your son…”

“And I failed as your mother if you  _ really _ think that this is okay.”

“W…You…What?”

His mother crossed her arms.

“Well I’m sorry that I’m such a disappointment.”

Her stare was hard. “Me too.”

Yamaguchi’s bottom lip quivered as he walked away from his bed and towards the door.

She followed him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I can’t stay here,” he cried. “I can’t!” He went to the front entrance of the house, put on his shoes, and left, slamming the door behind himself loudly. His father hadn’t even moved from his chair in the living room.

~

It’d been too long since Tsukishima had heard from Yamaguchi. His parents could have been talking to him, but they could also be hurting him. He paced in his room as he looked down at his phone. He’d tried to call Yamaguchi a few times, but he didn’t respond. And he hadn’t called back. It was terrifying.

At dinner, Kei explained to his parents what had happened, and they told him to tell Yamaguchi to come over. To make sure he was safe.

Tadashi <3

_ Hey where are you _

_ I’m kind of worried _

_ My parents told you to come over _

_ Please answer your phone _

_ I love you _

He clutched his phone after locking it. He felt like part of this had been his fault. He couldn’t have known that Yamaguchi’s parents would be this angry about the whole thing, but he should have had Yamaguchi think about it a little more. He didn’t know what to do.

He walked out to the living room, where his parents were talking nervously with each other. His father saw him first and they both turned. “Have you heard anything?”, he asked.

Kei shook his head. “No.” His grip around his phone tightened and he didn’t know what to say. He looked down at the device and saw no notifications.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” his mother reassured. “He probably just needs some time to himself. To process it.”

That didn’t make him feel much better.

Then somebody was knocking at the door. As much as Kei hated visitors, he rushed to the door before either of his parents could react, throwing it open. Tadashi was standing outside with watery eyes. Kei’s parents got to their feet. “Tadashi, are you all right, sweetheart?”, his mother asked.

When his chest rose a few times and his bottom lip quivered violently, Kei pulled him inside, bringing him into the tightest hug he could muster. Tadashi’s head fell into his shoulder and he cried helplessly.

Kei’s parents looked at each other, his mother shut the door gently, and then the adults let the couple be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna be completely honest: this chapter was very hard to write and kinda scary to think abt  
> I was going to add in another scene after the end of where the boys told the team what happened, but i couldn’t figure out a good way to end the chapter with the added scene so i left it here  
> Anyway tho i hope you enjoyed and sorry for how sad the ending of this chapter was :(


	4. Daichi & Sugawara

Sugawara and Daichi liked to take the mornings to walk to practice together. They would walk from their houses to a certain meeting point and go from there. They usually didn’t hold hands, but did walk somewhat close to each other.

Sugawara was okay with more people knowing that he was gay, being that most people around him did know, but Daichi was a little different. Out of Daichi’s friends and family, only Sugawara knew that he was gay. They never talked about it, though. When they did talk about it, they were typically short and awkward conversations, saying how Daichi was too nervous to tell anybody about his sexuality.

This morning the streets were relatively empty. The two met at their usual spot and took off to school, chatting away. Only on mornings where there were very few people around, they would hold hands as they walked. It was a small gesture in some relationships, but not theirs. And it’s especially big when Daichi initiates the touch, which happened on this day. Mid-sentence, Sugawara’s smile widened and he clutched Daichi’s hand while they continued to walk, the former continuing his story.

Then they got to a part of the path where the roads crossed. Usually, nobody was around here, but today Asahi happened to be walking down the perpendicular street to them. Daichi ripped his hand away and took a step away from Sugawara.. Sugawara’s smile dipped, but he forced it back up when Asahi waved to them nervously. “Good morning,” he said, walking closer to them.

“You’re early today,” Sugawara commented. “You usually get to the school with the second-years.”

He shrugged. “I woke up before my alarm and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

The three walked to school together. The entire way, Asahi was nervous that he had interrupted an important conversation between them, Sugawara was annoyed that Daichi wouldn’t hold his hand, and Daichi was anxious that Asahi had figured everything out (even though he hadn’t). Sugawara’s hand itched to reach for Daichi’s again, but refrained from doing so.

~

A pretty girl had been looking at Daichi all morning during class, and, although Daichi hadn’t noticed, it bothered Sugawara. She had been trying to talk to him all week, too, and last week. It was obvious she had feelings for Daichi, and it was only a matter of time before she told him.

While eating lunch outside with Daichi, Nishinoya, Tanaka and Asahi, Sugawara saw her walk over to them while Tanaka and Nishinoya were going on about something regarding practice. “Um, Sawamura?” She was so nervous.

Tanaka and Nishinoya stopped talking and all of the boys looked at the girl. She flushed when they did. “Can I tell you something? In private?”

Daichi looked at his friends, who didn’t seem to catch on with what was going on. Sugawara tried to keep himself calm as he saw his boyfriend nod and stand. “Lead the way,” he said happily.

She took him to an area hidden behind a tree, but when Nishinoya learned at a certain angle, he could see her bowing and saying something in a frantic manner. And Daichi had held up his hands, trying to calm her down from what she was saying.

Tanaka’s eyes widened when he went to Nishinoya’s angle and saw what he saw. “Is she confessing to him?”

Daichi didn’t know what to expect when that girl had walked over to him. She had been nice enough to him over the past few days so he considered her an acquaintance. But when she had asked to speak to only him in private, he got nervous. And then she was telling him how she felt and that she wanted to be more than friends.

She bowed and said, “Sawamura, I’ve developed feelings for you! I would like to become closer! As your friend or as your girlfriend!”

Daichi blinked and held up his hands, quickly telling her that she shouldn’t be so formal with him. He gulped and dropped his hands slowly, peering over to where he had been eating lunch. Nishinoya and Tanaka were watching with excitement, Asahi was looking away (probably to give privacy), and Sugawara had moved to see what was going on, but he didn’t look as excited. He looked nervous and like he was going to burst into tears. Daichi gulped and turned back to the girl as she straightened her back. “I, um…I’m flattered, I am…but I…I’m so sorry, but I actually have–“ He stopped himself. All he needed to say was a few more words.  _ I actually have a boyfriend. _ He could have even said that he had a partner to make it more vague, but he didn’t. He said, “I’m not really ready for a relationship.” His cheeks were pink as he said it, and he scratched the back of his head with embarrassment.

The girl furrowed her eyebrows. “That’s too bad!” She smiled big, wanting to leave before embarrassing herself more. “Then let’s be friends! Thank you for being so kind!” She turned and ran back to her friends.

Daichi took in a breath and then made his way to the boys. “Sorry about that.”

“So are you goin’ on a date anytime soon?”, Tanaka teased.

Daichi’s cheeks flushed slightly. “No, it’s not like that.”

“But she was cute! Oh, come on!”

“She’s…pretty, but…I don't really want to date anyone.”

Sugawara took his seat again and was quiet. He crossed his arms as Daichi spoke, answering the questions from the second-years.

~

As Daichi and Sugawara went back to class, Sugawara didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the right time to talk about what happened anyway, no matter how angry he was about lunch. They got through the rest of the day and then it was time for volleyball practice. They were the first two in the gym, beside Kiyoko, Takeda and Yachi, who were all preoccupied.

Sugawara leaned closer to Daichi and whispered to him, “Can we talk really quick?”

Daichi took a step back then spotted an empty corner close to them. He nodded, walking to it quickly. “Is everything okay?”, he asked in a quiet voice.

“What was that at lunch?”

Daichi looked at the gym entrance to make sure nobody was coming. “Are we talking about this now?”

“I’m just wondering. Did you tell her–?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Sugawara nodded.

“All I did was tell her that I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

Sugawara lowered his voice even more and looked over to Daichi. “But you  _ are _ in a relationship.”

“I know, but that was…it was just a white lie.”

Sugawara nodded again, but slowly. “Yeah, but–“ He stopped talking when Kageyama and Hinata were heard yelling at each other as they walked into the gym.

Daichi shrugged. “Let’s just talk about it later, okay?”

“When is later?”

“I don’t know…It’s…” He started walking away. “Later.”

Sugawara rolled his eyes as Daichi left to start setting up the gym.

~

When everybody began leaving after practice, Sugawara noticed that he and Daichi were the last two left. They didn’t hold hands as they walked together.

“Are you mad about the girl from lunch?”, Daichi asked as soon as they were completely alone.

Sugawara shrugged. “A little bit. And I know that it’s not your fault about this because you didn’t want to tell her about us.”

“Then why are you upset?”

“I think I’m just mad at myself for being annoyed at you.”

“Annoyed? Because, look–“

“I know, it’s not your fault about the girl. I don’t blame you for it, I think I’m just mad that you told her you weren’t ready for a relationship…because you  _ are _ in a relationship.”

“I know, I know.” Daichi sighed. “I just don’t want anybody to know about…you know. Not yet. Not before I tell my parents, at least.”

“And when will that be?”

Daichi’s eyebrows furrowed. “The other day you were going on about how I shouldn’t force myself into telling others when I’m not comfortable. What happened to that?”

“Well, I’m frustrated. You’ve been closeted for two years.”

“It hasn’t been two years!”

“It  _ has _ been two years! Or maybe it’s been longer because you told me you were gay when we were first-years. You could have known before we met and you probably did! And then we started dating last year! How much longer do you need?”

“Hey, you said that I didn’t have to worry about coming out until I’m ready.” He stopped and grabbed Sugawara’s arm so he was facing him. “You can tell as many people as you want about  _ you _ , but you just can’t say that you’re dating me.”

Sugawara ripped his arm away. “Yeah, but when girls start flirting with you and confessing to you, it puts us in a weird position. And you also never want to talk about coming out!”

“Because I’m not ready! And I just don’t want to think about it!”

“Why?” He relaxed his tone. “I want to know what’s stopping you.”

Daichi looked around to make sure the two were still alone. He met Sugawara’s eyes, but directed his gaze elsewhere when he began talking. “Once I say it, I can’t take it back. And I’m supposed to be the leader of the team. If they can’t look at me as a leader then…” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

“But if they don’t accept you, then they aren’t worth it.”

Daichi looked up quickly. “It’s the  _ team _ .” He exhaled. “I’m the  _ captain _ .”

“So?”

“I’m supposed to be…the strong one.”

“Do you mean masculine?” Sugawara inhaled sharply. “You think being gay will ruin that?” He almost sounded angry.

“Lower your voice!”

He did. “Okay, but answer the question.”

“Yes, I think that. When I think of a gay guy, I don’t think of this huge masculine guy. I think of…”

Sugawara crossed his arms. “Of what?”

“Someone who’s soft and…I don’t know, more feminine, I guess.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Not all gay men are feminine.”

“You are.” It came out before he could stop it.

Sugawara blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I-I didn’t mean that!”

“What  _ did _ you mean?”

“I don’t know.” Daichi sighed, knowing that he couldn’t fix what he said. He looked at the ground, his head hurting from all of the sudden thinking he had finally been doing about this.

“Do you feel this way about Hinata?” Another question popped into his head. His eyes scanned Daichi’s face in fear. “Oh, my Gosh…”

“What?”

His voice was firm. “Do you like being closeted because it makes you feel straight?” Another one came into his head. “And is that why you’re dating me? Be honest with me. Please.”

“No.” He didn’t hesitate.

“Okay because I just heard that gay men aren’t masculine.”

Daichi was silent.

“Daichi.”

He met his boyfriend’s eyes nervously.

“Do I remind you of a woman?”

This time he hesitated. “O-Of course not.” He reached for Sugawara’s hand. “Koushi–“

Sugawara ripped his hand away. “No!” He took a step back. “No, no, no!” He walked around Daichi. “Okay, if I’m feminine to you then…I don’t know, I have to go. See you tomorrow.” He didn’t look back at Daichi who had been staring at him sadly.

~

The next morning, Daichi was hoping that he would meet Sugawara at their usual spot. After waiting for ten minutes, he texted Sugawara, asking where he was, but didn’t get an answer. So he was forced to walk on his own, and wasn’t surprised when he saw Suga leaving the club room with Ennoshita.

During practice, the tension was real. There was no missing it. The two were still their usual selves, but not with each other. They didn’t even make eye contact with each other. They didn’t even  _ stand _ next to each other, which scared most of the team. But most of them figured it was just a small hurdle in their very strong friendship. There was nothing to worry about because they would probably be better by lunch or the next morning at the latest.

But they weren’t. After the second day, the two hadn’t spoken. Sugawara wanted to be away from Daichi and just wanted some time on his own. He felt bad for what he said and wanted to apologize, but was too mad about what Daichi said. And Daichi wanted nothing more to apologize, but was now caught up in the idea of coming out. And even thought about telling everybody as fast as he could to somehow make Sugawara feel better. But then he would think about how those around him would react and it was too daunting. He couldn’t figure out who would be supportive and who wasn’t.

The two were silent for a total of four days. And the team was becoming more anxious and concerned for the two. Asahi had tried to get anything out of Sugawara and Daichi on separate occasions, but neither wanted to say anything about it, explaining that it was between them and their (boy)friend and it wasn’t right to get the team involved. Then afternoon practice came and the part of the team that had arrived before Sugawara and Daichi whispered in a corner about the situation. Tanaka said how he wasn’t sure what was wrong and that it was very strange for them to fight, and Asahi mentioned how they both didn’t want to say anything. Hinata asked if they would get along again and Kageyama told him, “Shut up, dumbass, of course they will,” but the boys, including Kageyama, didn’t know if they could truly believe that statement.

When it was time to practice spikes, the entire gym knew that Sugawara would have to set for Daichi at some point. The two were not looking forward to it. They tried to look away from each other, but when Daichi almost fell into the net and Sugawara hit himself in the head with a ball, Ukai scolded them for messing up something that was second nature to them. They tried to spike a few more times and, after thinking they were just having an off day, Ukai told Daichi to practice with Kageyama.

At the end of practice, after all of the boys had cooled down, changed and cleaned up the gym, they began to leave. Mr. Takeda ran up to Daichi, who was beginning to walk away. “Sawamura!”, he called.

Daichi turned around. “Yes? Is everything okay?”

He nodded. “Can you come here for a moment? Ukai and I would like to talk to you.”

Daichi nodded. “Of course.” He followed the teacher inside of the gym and tensed when he saw Sugawara and Ukai talking. “Are we in trouble?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Takeda stood beside Ukai. “We just…”

“We’re concerned for you two,” Ukai finished.

“The team seems to be upset by the lack of…well, communication. During practice, I had asked Azumane if he knew anything and he didn’t, so I asked Shimizu and she didn’t know anything either. I figured it would be best to ask you two. So we can get the full story, and both sides.”

Daichi spoke. “Um…” He didn’t look at Sugawara. “It’s just personal issues.”

Takeda didn’t see Sugawara roll his eyes, but Ukai did. He crossed his arms. “What’s with the sudden attitude?”

Sugawara straightened. “What?

“You rolled your eyes. You’re not usually like that.”

Neither said anything. They still didn’t look at each other, which caused more panic in Takeda. But he kept quiet to give the two the chance to gather their thoughts. Ukai impatiently stared between the two. “Spit it out,” he said after almost a minute. “We don’t have all night.”

“We’re dating,” Daichi blurted out. He was visibly nervous as Sugawara looked over at him in shock.

“I-I thought you weren’t ready!”, he said. “Daichi–“

Takeda was staring wide-eyed as Ukai gulped hard, trying to think of how to go about this. “What you two do outside of volleyball and class is none of our business,” he started. “As long as nobody is getting hurt, we are in no position to judge. But what does you two dating have to do with not talking to each other?”

“We had an argument the other day,” Daichi said.

Sugawara crossed his arms and looked away.

“Can you tell us what it was about?”, Takeda asked carefully.

“He said that I had to come out.”

Sugawara looked offended. “I didn’t say you  _ had _ to come out.”

“Yes, you did. You implied it, at least.”

“What else happened?”, Takeda asked.

“A girl confessed to him at lunch and he told her that he wasn’t ready for a relationship,” Sugawara explained.

Daichi faced Sugawara. “But if I had told her that I was dating somebody then she would ask who. And you shouldn’t be mad at me for that because you know it’s not my fault.”

“I know that, but I’m still mad that you lied about being in a relationship!”

“Sugawara,,” Takeda said quickly, “I don’t think you’re mad at Daichi, I think that you were just feeling some sort of jealousy,” he continued. “And that’s not an easy feeling to deal with, especially if you aren’t used to it.”

“That’s not all that happened,” Daichi added.

Takeda and Ukai’s faces dropped.

“Sugawara said that he doesn’t like it when girls flirt with me, and confess their feelings to me.”

Takeda and Ukai looked at Sugawara and Ukai asked, “How come?”

“Because he’s my boyfriend and he isn’t telling anybody that,” Sugawara said angrily. “And he doesn’t  _ want  _ to tell anybody that. And we’ve been dating for a year!”

“But you said that I shouldn’t have to worry about coming out,” Daichi argued. “We have had several conversations about that where you have said that.”

“No! We have talked about it very  _ few _ times because you never want to discuss it!”

“Because it makes me uncomfortable!”

Takeda put up his hands. “Okay, okay.” He looked at Daichi. “If you want to, can you tell us  _ why _ it makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Daichi stiffened and Sugawara looked away again.

“You don’t have to. Just know that neither me nor Ukai will judge you.”

“Once it’s out there, I can’t take it back,” Daichi said with embarrassment. He was fidgeting as he kept talking. “And I’m…I’m the captain so if the team can’t look at me the same way then…I don’t know what I would do.”

“That’s stupid,” Ukai said with furrowed brows.

Takeda elbowed him gently. “Ukai!”

Sugawara shrugged. “It is, though.”

“This is why I don’t like talking about it with you!”, Daichi stressed.

Takeda took a breath. “It seems…It seems like this is more of a masculinity issue with you, Sawamura.”

Ukai looked confused. “Why don’t you want to tell the team when Hinata just came out? The team is perfectly fine with him.”

Sugawara saw how flustered Daichi was and spoke for him. “He’s scared they won’t see him as a leader and that they’ll think differently of him. As a person  _ and _ their captain.”

Takeda pushed up his glasses. “It’s understandable that you would feel like that. You know that the team is okay with Hinata, but Hinata has a much different personality. Plus, for some of the teammates, as bad as this may sound, they might not have been very surprised by it. I’m not saying that everybody knew that Hinata was gay, but he might have dropped hints with it.” He paused, seeing as how Daichi was trying to process what he was being told. “And masculinity is very highly valued. Being gay is not celebrated in men because of that. And I think that the fear stems from being scared that, no matter how supportive the team is with Hinata, they might not be that way with you because you are the team captain and you give off a more…masculine energy.”

Ukai blinked, looking down at the teacher. “Teach, how do you know this?”

Takeda’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, well I…I just do. And growing up, my parents told me to get a wife and be the best man I could be. And being gay was always a fear my parents had for me because it was just…it was not seen as a good thing because times were very different.”

Ukai nodded slowly. “I didn’t think about that.” He looked back over at Daichi. “And then you have to worry about telling your parents…And it's likely that they are a bit more traditional, especially with you being an athlete…” He inhaled. “I'm sorry for calling your reasons stupid because…well, they’re not.”

Daichi bit the inside of his cheek. “It’s fine.”

Sugawara sighed. “Me too, I’m sorry.” His voice was a lot softer.

Daichi shook his head. “Don’t be, I know that you’re upset about this.”

“You two need to take it easy,” Takeda told them. “I know that you took some time apart, but that might have hurt you more than you think. Now that you’ve had this talk, you probably have a better sense of each other’s feelings.”

“You just have to stop fighting about this,” Ukai added. “Because having an argument and then just not talking is not going to fix it. If you talk to each other in a calm manner, kind of like just now, it’ll be easier to communicate.”

“Obviously you two can take breaks if you need to. It’s important to stick together, though. Like Ukai said with Hinata, being gay in the sports world is no easy feat. And if you fear you two are distancing too much just remember what brought you together, and that there is a reason that you two were brought together.”

There were a few moments of silence and then the boys looked at each other, both with guilty expressions.

“Start getting home,” Ukai said. “And if your parents are mad, just say we needed extra help cleaning up the gym.”

They nodded and thanked the adults for helping with their problem. Then they walked out of the gym together, going down the same street towards their homes.

Their pace was slow. They both wanted to stay in each other’s presence, but were too scared to say anything. When they had gotten about a meter into their walk, Daichi opened his mouth, his head pointed to the ground. “Do you remember when we got together?”

Sugawara nodded and looked away. “Yeah.”

Sugawara and Daichi were very close for not having known each other for too long. It had already been a year, and now they were second-years, preparing for a new season of volleyball. It was exciting! They were going to meet new people and create new friendships.

Two people that had seriously stuck out were Nishinoya Yuu and Tanaka Ryuunosuke. They were two of the loudest and energetic people that had ever been on the team, and were amazing on court. One moved fast and knew how to stay light on his feet, while the other had amazing power that was always there.

After a very remarkable practice, it was time to go home. Daichi and Sugawara had gotten used to walking together, and today was no different. Even though Daichi had been exhausted, he insisted on walking with Sugawara, which the third-years teased him for. Neither cared, and Sugawara found it very sweet.

He grabbed Daichi’s arm without thinking, hugging it slightly. “He’s just that nice!” He was smiling big and Daichi’s cheeks were glowing pink.

One of the third-years snickered as the rest of the team who was still in the club room stared. Sugawara looked around, not letting go. “What? Is this something wrong?”

Daichi wiggled his arm in the other’s hold and cleared his throat awkwardly.

Sugawara looked down and let go fast. “Oh! Sorry!”

Daichi gulped. “No, you just got excited, it’s fine.” He turned to Sugawara after his blush went away. “Do you wanna start going?”

“Yeah!”

The two told everybody to get home safe and took off together. Daichi watched and listened as Sugawara looked up at the sky and was in awe with the number of stars in it. “They’re so pretty! Do you see them all? And they’re so bright, even without the moon! Did you even notice there’s no moon tonight?”

Daichi nodded slowly, not tearing his eyes from the other.

Sugawara sighed happily. “I love the night sky.” When he looked over at Daichi again, he was surprised to make eye contact immediately. “Do you like night or day more?”

“As long as I can be around you, I don’t mind.”

His cheeks reddened. “What?”

“T-That’s not what I meant! I meant I like to be around my friends, and I can do that in the day and night because of class and volleyball.”

Sugawara nodded, smiling nervously. “Yeah, I understand.” He looked in front of himself then saw his house. “Aw man, I’m home.”

“You don’t want to go home?”

They stopped walking and Sugawara faced Daichi. “I like our talks.”

“Me too.”

“And now you have to walk home alone. I always feel bad when you walk all the way here and then have to walk all the way to your house, especially because after practice you're usually pretty tired. You could have gone to your house at that one turn, you know.”

“I don’t mind walking with you. It gives me something to look forward to after practice.” He looked up at Sugawara's house. “Do your parents know that you’re gay?”

He looked surprised by the question. “Yeah, they do. Yours don’t, right?”

“No.”

“That’s gotta be hard.”

Daichi nodded. “And I have a crush on this guy and can’t ask them for advice. Only you know that I’m…”

“Yeah, I know.” Sugawara’s eyes hadn’t moved from Daichi. “And if you ever want me to help with coming out or getting closer to doing that, just tell me. I’ll do what I can.”

Daichi finally met Sugawara’s gaze. “You would?”

Sugawara nodded. “Of course, you’re my best friend. Why wouldn't I help?”

Neither of them liked staying as friends. Saying and hearing it just never felt good. They both wanted more than that, but were absolutely terrified to say anything about it. Something could have easily gone wrong, especially because neither were out to many people.

Sugawara looked at the house. “You’ll get there, though. It’s very hard to come out, but you will most definitely get there.” He looked back at Daichi. “You just need time.”

Daichi met Sugawara’s eyes and nodded. Something sparked from this look. They were standing close to each other, closer than they ever had. Their noses were practically touching. Daichi couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and Sugawara didn’t back away. At first their lips brushed against each other’s shyly, but then Daichi’s hand cupped the other’s cheek and they leaned in closer to each other.

Sugawara and Daichi stopped in front of Sugawara’s house. “And then we texted all night about it and were exhausted during practice the next morning,” Sugawara chuckled.

Daichi nodded, laughing quietly. “Yeah.” He looked at the sky. “Hey, look.”

Sugawara looked up and smiled gently. “That’s a lot of stars.”

“And no moon.”

They slowly looked down at each other. Sugawara looked noticeably guilty so Daichi leaned in slowly, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “I shouldn’t have fought with you the other day, I’m sorry.” He didn’t move back. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

Sugawara shook his head. “No, you were just upset, I know that now. I’m sorry for being insensitive.” He held onto Daichi’s hand. “Don’t stress about coming out, please. Forget what I said. It’s a really difficult process and I shouldn’t expect you to do it just because I want you to.”

Daichi nodded again. “I know.”

He kissed Sugawara quickly and the latter said, “Your parents are probably worrying about where you are.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to go either, but we have practice tomorrow morning.”

Daichi sighed. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

“You better.”

Daichi took a few steps back. “I will.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he smiled. Then he began walking in the direction of his own home. Sugawara didn’t move until his boyfriend was out of sight.

A few minutes later he got an incoming message, but the boys didn’t go to sleep after Sugawara answered it. They stayed up as late as they could talking and the next day at practice were exhausted. But it was worth it. And they might have been tired, but they were at least talking to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MANNNN THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT FUN (I mean it was but it was hard)  
> I reread this so many times to make sure the characters were in character and im still worried that they’re kinda OOC but ig everybody gets a bit different when talking abt something like this bc coming out is very hard; i was also scared that it was too similar to the KageHina chapter so thats why I made Suga so like,,,idk ig kinda mean in this chapter, but then agn these two are super stressed out and some people can get mean when stressed  
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> The ending of this one was a bit happy, happier than the others at least (minus AsaNoya) so yk but anyway thank you for reading! It means a lot to me!! <3


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